It’s Not All about Being Sweet: Topics to Spice up your Conversations

Have you ever found yourself with nothing to share to your significant other? Yung naubusan ka na ng date ideas at halos paulit-ulit na lang ang mga pinupuntahan at kinakainan niyong mga restaurants? In fact, nagbago na ang motto niyo from “kasama kang tumanda” to “kasama kang tumaba” real quick, dahil mas madalas ang pigging out sessions kaysa mga meaningful talks on family, faith and future.

I feel you. Especially if you are not naturally talkative like me, minsan talaga maiisip mo na parang bitin, may kulang. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Conversations are essential part of a healthy relationship and it is necessary that conversations are full of meaning and spice. Hindi yung puro pa-sweet lang.

How’s your day?

This is a no-brainer, pero I suggest that you move beyond the superficial “ok naman, ikaw?” responses. Be fully interested sa isa’t isa. Hindi ito reporting ng mga activities na ginawa sa buong araw, kundi sharing of life. You will discover how a person reacts and interacts with various circumstances by the way he/she talks about his/her day. If you are really invested with one another, you will be observant of what irks him/her and what makes him/her smile.

Childhood stories

Promise, isa sa pinakamagandang pag-usapan ay ang mga memorable childhood stories. Learn about each other’s upbringing at mas mauunawaan mo ang mga hugot ng isa’t isa sa buhay. Mas mapaparami din ang mga tawanan for sure kapag nalaman niyo ang mga kwento kung paano napadala sa principal ang isa dahil nakipag-away sa kaklase, or kung paanong nahulog ang isa sa kanal dahil kakalingon sa crush. Minsan naman ang magiging laman ng kwentuhan ay ang malulungkot na kwento ng pagkabata. It’s good to talk about childhood dahil bukod sa masaya itong balikan, you will gain insights kung anong mga values ang gusto niyong maituro sa magiging anak niyo in the future.

Fears and Dreams

Another interesting topic to talk about ay ang mga takot at pangarap ng bawat isa. Minsan, kung paanong excited tayo na ikwento ang mga pangarap natin, minsan hindi naman tayo ganun ka-open magkwento ng mga bagay na nagbibigay sa atin ng takot. Yet these are important things to talk about because a couple must complement each other on these areas. A couple must be each other’s encourager and helper when it comes to fulfilling their dreams and overcoming their respective fears.

Future Plans

Hindi lang puro pa-sweet at mga pick-up lines, lalo na mga pakilig lang ang pagpasok sa relationship. It must lead to marriage. Mahalagang maaga pa lang ay napag-uusapan na ang mga plano sa future. Ano ang mga relationship goals niyo? Anong taon niyo planong magpakasal? Anong mga career changes ang maaaring iadjust in case? Saan niyo planong tumira? While these are definitely being discussed by pre-wedded couples, still I would like to stress the idea. Para magkaalaman kung seryoso talaga.

Spiritual Conversations

If there is one thing I would like to overemphasize in this post, ito ay ang kahalagahan ng spiritual conversations in a relationship. Talk about matters of faith often. Dapat you are on the same page. Hindi lang tungkol sa emosyon ang pagpasok sa relasyon, mahalagang alam niyo kung kanino ba dapat ang pangunahing debosyon. Magtanungan kayo about each other’s spiritual journey. Kumustahin ang bible reading and daily devotion, ang prayer life, kung nagpapadisciple ba sa mas matured Christian, at iba pang mahalagang issues of faith and life. Hindi lang ito basta topic to talk about, it reveals much about values and priorities ng isa’t isa. Would you like to spend your married life with someone you’re not equally yoked with?

I love The Message’s version of 2 Corinthians 6:14-18:

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:

“I’ll live in them, move into them;
    I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
    leave it for good,” says God.
“Don’t link up with those who will pollute you.
    I want you all for myself.
I’ll be a Father to you;
    you’ll be sons and daughters to me.”
The Word of the Master, God.

Spiritual matters in relationship are very crucial kaya dapat lang na napag-uusapan ito. It has impact on your decisions, your values and your future. If a couple cannot agree on vital issues of faith, it will have an effect sooner or later.

Basically anything

Actually you can talk about anything. Talk about your favorite apps and games, talk about your favorite movies, books or subject nung highschool. Talk about your future travel goals soon kapag married na kayo. But in all your conversations, just be reminded of the words in Colossians 4:6, MSG

Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post.

Maisingit ko lang. I said that meaningful conversations are not just about sweetness. Hindi ba kapag puro tamis lang nakaka-umay din? Kaya dapat balanse lang.

Like Saring Bakes’ Choco Butternut Cake.

 As a fan of DD’s choco butternut, I must say na may laban ang cake na ito. Bukod sa hindi siya sobrang tamis, siksik din ang loaf – again, loaf siya, kaya pwedeng for sharing, or pwede rin solo. Lalong pwedeng ipang-regalo sa jowa mo. The cake used is chocolate moist cake kaya sulit siya for its price. So for me, it’s a yes. Haha!

Pero hindi lang yan ang offer ng Saring Bakes. Madami pa siyang goodie offers for the pastry lover in you! Visit Saring Bakes’ Facebook Page for more information. #SupportLocal