You’ve been dreaming about that day when you’ll be walking along that aisle in beaming white dress. Everyone is gazing at you, trying to gain your attention. You don’t seem to notice the crowd, but just one person - that person waiting for you at the altar, with sparkling, teary eyes and mesmerizing smile. “This is it!” you muttered. You can’t help but thank God for the day that you thought would never come. The day you’ve finally found the love of your life, the day you said that you’re already complete.
But let me put it this way – you don’t need someone to complete you.
“You complete me”
We have heard it a couple of times. It sounds very harmless, in fact, it sounds very romantic. But the problem with this thinking is that you see yourself only as half-a-person, that you need someone else to complete you because you are insufficient. This, I believe, welcomes a lot of frustrations.
While it is a one-of-a-kind experience to have someone to join you in your life’s journey, it doesn’t mean that you will cease to function in the absence of the other. Couples are partners. They complement each other. Eve was given to Adam as a help-meet. There are no questions asked when it comes to things that a couple can do together. But again, the premise is that they both must not depend on each other for sufficiency.
When you enter a relationship, you must enter as a “whole” person. You are capable of deciding for yourself. You are capable of taking care of yourself. You are capable of doing many things. Your identity is intact. Putting things in quantifiable terms, you are 100% complete.
The same goes for the other party. He comes into a relationship with many things he can do on his own. He doesn’t need someone to define who he really is. He is also 100% complete.
When your paths cross in a romantic set-up, the things you can do on your own won’t cease to exist. You did not begin as 50%+50% = 100%. You are both 100% complete. This means that even in the absence of another, or even worse in the event of a breakup, you will still function as normal, you will still feel complete and life goes on.
But when you enter a relationship with the idea that you want to be complete, you will end up disappointed and defeated. You don’t seek completion in the arms of another person. Nobody can satisfy you. Nobody can fill the void that is in you. And even if you believe that they can, you will just end up dependent on them. You will begin to live your life wanting them to feed you with love that “completes” you. You will live your life in fear of losing them. And that is no love. That is bondage – bondage on fear and sufficiency from others. Love frees us, love gives us liberty. It doesn’t and must not hold us back.
If you are the kind of person who seeks sufficiency from others, you need to hear this: you need to break free. No one’s going to satisfy your longings and fill the void inside your heart. Stop believing the lie that when your knight in shining armor comes to rescue you, he comes with everything you need, and your life will be complete. Your life will be different, no doubt, but the longing and the void will remain if your sufficiency is dependent upon a person. And guess what, who wants to be with an incomplete person?
Your sufficiency must come from the One whose love never disappoints. He is the source of our joy and He can fill our void. He completes us, makes us whole. He restores what is broken and makes us full. He is our all-satisfying treasure. His name is Jesus.
The woman at the well
There is this woman in the Bible who happens to be fetching waters by the well. While it was customary for women to gather water for their families early in the morning, this particular woman decided to have it done at the very heat of the noonday sun. Perhaps she doesn’t want any attention. Perhaps she doesn’t want any company. But Jesus happened to be there. A man who is supposed to be hostile against her, be He isn’t, to her surprise.
While they were conversing, which was uncustomary for both of them because of cultural differences and regional hostility, they came to discuss the love life of the woman. It happened that the woman has had several husbands and the one she is living with someone who is not her husband. I can imagine the awkwardness of their conversation but it was obvious that the woman is seeking to find her “completeness” in men. She wants to feel secure, she wants to feel significant. She wants to feel loved and accepted. But all she ever received was a failed relationship after another. It was a hard fact to accept.
But Jesus offered the Living Water. The water of His love which will never run dry. He asked the woman if she wants to drink from the Living Water that satisfies all her longings and fills all the void in her heart. She accepted. And her life was never the same again. She has been complete ever since.
The same Living Water Jesus has offered the woman at the well is the same Living Water He offers to you right now. You may be like that woman whose life is always dependent upon another person, who is dependable today but gone tomorrow. But right now, Jesus is offering you a Source that never runs dry. He offers Himself as the Living Water to satisfy your very heart and soul.
He is waiting for you.
To end, you don’t need someone to complete you. You only need Jesus, and you will be complete. Pursuing a relationship seeking sufficiency from others is not worth it. It will be a never-ending pursuit and worth and significance. But when your sufficiency is from the Lord, you know that your relational foundation is strong enough to weather any storm.
But let me put it this way – you don’t need someone to complete you.
We have heard it a couple of times. It sounds very harmless, in fact, it sounds very romantic. But the problem with this thinking is that you see yourself only as half-a-person, that you need someone else to complete you because you are insufficient. This, I believe, welcomes a lot of frustrations.
While it is a one-of-a-kind experience to have someone to join you in your life’s journey, it doesn’t mean that you will cease to function in the absence of the other. Couples are partners. They complement each other. Eve was given to Adam as a help-meet. There are no questions asked when it comes to things that a couple can do together. But again, the premise is that they both must not depend on each other for sufficiency.
When you enter a relationship, you must enter as a “whole” person. You are capable of deciding for yourself. You are capable of taking care of yourself. You are capable of doing many things. Your identity is intact. Putting things in quantifiable terms, you are 100% complete.
The same goes for the other party. He comes into a relationship with many things he can do on his own. He doesn’t need someone to define who he really is. He is also 100% complete.
When your paths cross in a romantic set-up, the things you can do on your own won’t cease to exist. You did not begin as 50%+50% = 100%. You are both 100% complete. This means that even in the absence of another, or even worse in the event of a breakup, you will still function as normal, you will still feel complete and life goes on.
But when you enter a relationship with the idea that you want to be complete, you will end up disappointed and defeated. You don’t seek completion in the arms of another person. Nobody can satisfy you. Nobody can fill the void that is in you. And even if you believe that they can, you will just end up dependent on them. You will begin to live your life wanting them to feed you with love that “completes” you. You will live your life in fear of losing them. And that is no love. That is bondage – bondage on fear and sufficiency from others. Love frees us, love gives us liberty. It doesn’t and must not hold us back.
If you are the kind of person who seeks sufficiency from others, you need to hear this: you need to break free. No one’s going to satisfy your longings and fill the void inside your heart. Stop believing the lie that when your knight in shining armor comes to rescue you, he comes with everything you need, and your life will be complete. Your life will be different, no doubt, but the longing and the void will remain if your sufficiency is dependent upon a person. And guess what, who wants to be with an incomplete person?
Your sufficiency must come from the One whose love never disappoints. He is the source of our joy and He can fill our void. He completes us, makes us whole. He restores what is broken and makes us full. He is our all-satisfying treasure. His name is Jesus.
The woman at the well
There is this woman in the Bible who happens to be fetching waters by the well. While it was customary for women to gather water for their families early in the morning, this particular woman decided to have it done at the very heat of the noonday sun. Perhaps she doesn’t want any attention. Perhaps she doesn’t want any company. But Jesus happened to be there. A man who is supposed to be hostile against her, be He isn’t, to her surprise.
While they were conversing, which was uncustomary for both of them because of cultural differences and regional hostility, they came to discuss the love life of the woman. It happened that the woman has had several husbands and the one she is living with someone who is not her husband. I can imagine the awkwardness of their conversation but it was obvious that the woman is seeking to find her “completeness” in men. She wants to feel secure, she wants to feel significant. She wants to feel loved and accepted. But all she ever received was a failed relationship after another. It was a hard fact to accept.
But Jesus offered the Living Water. The water of His love which will never run dry. He asked the woman if she wants to drink from the Living Water that satisfies all her longings and fills all the void in her heart. She accepted. And her life was never the same again. She has been complete ever since.
The same Living Water Jesus has offered the woman at the well is the same Living Water He offers to you right now. You may be like that woman whose life is always dependent upon another person, who is dependable today but gone tomorrow. But right now, Jesus is offering you a Source that never runs dry. He offers Himself as the Living Water to satisfy your very heart and soul.
He is waiting for you.
To end, you don’t need someone to complete you. You only need Jesus, and you will be complete. Pursuing a relationship seeking sufficiency from others is not worth it. It will be a never-ending pursuit and worth and significance. But when your sufficiency is from the Lord, you know that your relational foundation is strong enough to weather any storm.
You don’t need someone to complete you
Reviewed by Marts Valenzuela
on
June 29, 2018
Rating:
Reviewed by Marts Valenzuela
on
June 29, 2018
Rating:
