Pray. Prepare. Pursue. Marriage

Since we stepped into school, we have been preparing ourselves to conquer, or at least land in a stable and satisfying career. Syempre, as millennials, we aim not just for a job that helps us pay our bills – we look for a job where passion, purpose and profit meets. We care less about marriage until such time na tingin natin ready na tayo. Yes, MARRIAGE.

I’m not talking about directionless, short-term, flirtatious, para-lang-may-trophy kind of relationships. I’m talking about relationships with the intention of marriage. Call me old-school but this is what I believe in. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, and that we should uphold and fight for it. I believe that courtship must lead to a lifetime commitment, otherwise don’t attempt to enter into one. I don’t promote live-in arrangements, yung ‘try-lang-natin-kung-mag-work’. Being married is not just a status, it is a covenant relationship.

Kaya naman, while we pray hard for a successful career, pray harder for a successful marriage.

I remember hearing from a sermon that next to salvation, the most important decision a person will ever make is choosing whom to marry. Unless you choose to be celibate, we must be prepared and be careful in this area of life. Hindi pwede and pwede na. That is why need to pray hard that na hindi tayo ma-fall sa mga maling tao, sa mga walang intention at direction na kagaya ng sa atin. And while we pray for a successful career, pray hard din for a successful marriage. Mahalaga ang promotion, pero mahalaga rin ang marital coordination. Mahalaga ang corporate benefits pero mahalaga rin na sure ka sa iyong lifetime “beh-nefits”.

Pero ang tanong, paano ka ba makakasiguro kung siya na nga ang ‘the one’? Mahirap yang sagutin sa totoo lang, pero I have gleaned two important things to consider:

She brings out the best in you.

Gustong-gusto ko to. It just means that her presence is enough to inspire you, to keep you going. May mga relationships kasi na instead of freeing you to be who you are destined to be, kinukulong ka, nama-manipulate ka, sobrang nakakasakal. But you will know if she’s the one if she brings out the best in you. Hindi yung kinukunsinti ka, kundi yung ine-encourage ka to pursue what you are called to do and strengthens you with her untiring support. Kaya naman you sync together. May cohesiveness ang relationship. This is because while you receive support, of course you reciprocate that support. You bring out the best in each other.

The witness of the Holy Spirit.

This is very important. The Holy Spirit is the third party in a healthy Christian relationship. Minsan tatanunin mo ang sarili mo kung “siya na ba?”, pero dahil puno ka ng duda o kaya ng takot, o kaya naman you are just too excited to think objectively, we need the witness of the Holy Spirit. This is the confirmation we need to know, and we know this by the peace that befalls our heart and mind. Malalaman mo na siya na nga kung pinapayapa ni Lord ang lahat ng takot mo at pangamba, at kahit pa anong mangyari, alam mong kakayanin niyong dalawa. There is a witness of the Holy Spirit. Aprub kumbaga.

It takes a firm decision to get married. Don’t wait until you are completely ready. Decide to be ready.

NOTE: this portion is not intended para sa mga kabataang wala pa sa marrying age.

Madaming tao na nasa tamang edad na ang takot magpakasal kasi iniisip na baka hindi pa sila handa. O kaya naman wala pang naiipon, o kaya naman hindi pa stable financially. Ako rin naman, to be honest. Kaya naman umaabot nang matagal ang engagement period, or worse ang courtship. Pero if we will wait until we are completely ready, baka naman we are just waiting in vain. Materials needs never end. Hindi nauubos ang dapat nating pagtuunan ng pansin. And until we decide to take this step of faith, this God-honoring decision, we will never know that God has been waiting for us all along. Ang dami ko nang narinig na testimonies how God provides to those who steps out in faith in marriage. Kapag credible na ako to write about marriage, at kapag married na ako, that’s the time I’ll write about my personal experiences. Sa ngayon, let’s encourage one another muna.

And besides, what we should prepare more is not the wedding, but marriage.