#RESPECT

It’s all over the news. A strongman seated in the most powerful seat in the country is making headlines again for kissing a married woman on the lips, all for the sake of “entertaining” the audience. A misogynist act, un-presidential, and conduct unbecoming, says women’s rights advocates. 

I’ve watched the video. I’ve seen their gestures. I’ve seen enough to cringe over what is justified to be “just a playful act and culturally accepted among Filipinos.” Something that I really disagree with. 

Hindi ko na masyadong dadagdagan ang naging takbo ng istorya. Siguro dahil mas na-capture ako ng mga highfalutin words na nababasa ko sa internet lately. “Disgusting theatrics of a misogynist” – big words! 

Tinignan ko ang meaning ng misogyny and it says: 

“dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.” 

I remember a time when I was rebuked, honest-to-goodness, by a very trusted person over a video that I once found very amusing. Sa video, may isang babae ang nagtu-twerk until “nawakwak” ang suot niyang skirt – in front of the national television. I was laughing real hard because of the awkwardness of her situation pero the moment I shared it to a lady friend (someone who became very dear to me ever since), para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. 

“What if that happens to your mother? Sa kapatid mong babae? Sa akin? Makakatawa ka pa kaya?” It was a hard pill to swallow, but I know I needed that. Huli ka balbon! Wala akong maisagot. Hindi ko kayang i-justify. At kahit pa sabihin kong katuwaan lang naman, hindi pa rin maikakaila na napakadumi ng entertainment na nagpapasaya sa akin – kailangan pang may mapahiyang babae sa harapan ng napakaraming tao. For me to learn my lesson, she cut off our communications for a time. Hindi ko siya makausap for a certain period. At dahil dun, naisulat ko pa ang mga natutunan ko. It was life-changing, attitude-forming. Good thing, I was restored. 

Minsan pala sa buhay ko, naging misogynist ako. Not because I dislike women, but because I have treated them with contempt, with utter disrespect. Hindi mo na kailangan pang manghalik ng babaeng may-asawa in front of the national television para masabihan ka na misogynist. All you need to do is to treat them with sheer disrespect and poof! disgusting ka na rin kagaya ng sinasabi ng Gabriela. 

So how do we show our disrespect? Let me enumerate some of the ways: 

Catcalling. Yung tuwing may makikita kang magandang babae, titignan mo mula ulo hanggang paa, sabay sabi “rapbeh”, “hi miss, hatid na kita”, and other demeaning remarks. Dahil masyado nang unmillenial ang pag-sipol lang. “Wit wiw!” 

Discreetly taking pictures of women in public or in private. Yung kunwari barkada mo ang kinukuhanan mo ng picture pero foreground lang pala siya. Props, kumbaga. Naku, wag mo nang hintaying mag-flash ang camera mo, baka kung saan ka pulutin. 

Social media humiliation. Yung kapag may friend ka na nag-add ng bagong friend online, magco-comment ka ng mga humiliating one-liners: “wasak ang EDSA”, “lam na dis”, “punit”, “diligan mo ng suka ang namamasa kong lumpia”... for a time kaya halos ayaw ko nung mag-add ng friends sa Facebook! 

Trading pictures of women online. As if you own them as a commodity. Minsan nga nauso pa ang mga pastor hokage groups online, na naging underground market for illicit picture trading. Naging talamak ang pangbabastos sa mga kababaihan. I just don’t know kung meron pa rin nito until now. 

Sending, posting, sharing and entertaining sex scandals and sexual innuendoes. Yung masyado kang nae-entertain sa katawan ng isang babae na nilalantad mo pa at ibinabahagi sa iba. Proud ka pa! Again, like my realization before, it is an entertainment at the expense of women’s dignity. Masyadong costly. You are better than that, brother. 

As soon as we look at a woman as objects of lust and not as people worthy of respect, we exhibit “disgusting theatrics of a misogynist”. Maganda man pakinggan dahil English, pero never magandang ipamuhay. They are created as our co-equal, not as our entertainers. They are our help-meet, not sex objects. Treat them with respect, as you want your mother and your sister and your wife and daughters (or future wife and daughters) to be respected. 

And also, I would like to point this one out. Don’t support misogynistic behaviors. The moment you justify misogyny, you are already one with them. Your “thumbs up” for disrespecting women is a “thumbs down” to your mother and sisters. Hindi mo kailangang i-justify. Wag mo nang i-justify. Call a spade a spade. Lamonayan. Dapat, lamonayan. 

Let us defend our women. Let’s stand up for them. Let’s man up!